When we were dating, my wife and I went to Kay Jewelers to window shop for wedding rings. Little did she know I had already bought her ring. The very nice gentleman who sold me her engagement ring was there and was happy to finally see the woman I spent two months ring shopping for. Two whole months of shopping. Like I said before, I took it very seriously. For me, putting a ring on it was far more than a cliche. It was real. We’ve already seen that putting a ring on it meant conferring some level of personal authority to another person. Today, let’s look at the second element of what putting a ring on it really means…the irrevocability of a promise.
A ring promise is irrevocable.
“…for whatever is written in the king’s name and sealed with the king’s signet ring no one can revoke.” (Esther 8:8)
Esther’s story is interesting. A beautiful young woman, she was invited by King Xerxes along with several other women to potentially become his queen. Can you imagine how Esther felt? Seeing all these other women available for the king to select. For twelve whole months she sat in the king’s court with these women. One of the consistent complaints that I hear from women is that there are not enough good men in the world. They feel like Esther. A face in the crowd. I want to take this time to encourage you to be like Esther. Esther’s name actually means “star.” Baby, you’re a star. There may be many faces in the crowd, but there’s something about you that shines. Your spirit, your elegance, you refusal to compromise your morals, your willingness to wait on the Lord.
What was so significant about the twelve month period. During this time, the women were placed on pregnancy watch. Don’t miss that right there. The king wanted to determine whether the women were pregnant.
Are you pregnant…with purpose?
A purpose-driven woman makes her stand out. She uses her time of preparation to develop her vision, to develop her character, and to develop her godly attributes. Somebody who is pregnant with purpose has a strict diet. They keep it healthy and eat fruit (of the spirit). They can’t deal with no junk (food). Although Esther was not physically pregnant, the king realized she was pregnant with purpose. It was THIS that made her stick out. What distinguishes you, my sister?
Because of her ability to stand out and be a star, Esther was given a promise from the king. With his signet ring, he “Put a Ring On It” to back up that promise. This ring carried so much authority that there was nobody (absolutely nobody) who could revoke the king’s promise.
Whatever happened to irrevocable promises? Let me tell you something else that really bothers me. When men hold engagement or the promise of engagement over a woman’s head. Every day the woman wonders, “Is today the day?” I’ll be transparent for a minute and tell you guys that I lied to my wife. Yep, I lied. But, I think Jesus excused me for this one. It was a good lie. 🙂 My wife has the tendency to be real nosey sometimes. That’s not good when you are shopping for a ring. You gotta research when she isn’t around, delete all your Internet cookies and history on your computer, and hide all evidence of ring shopping. Plus, you gotta sneak to the mall by yourself (totally terrifying for a non-mall guy like me). I told my wife I would probably not propose to her until I finished seminary. All the while, I had spent about two months mapping out a proposal the week of her birthday. Sometimes you gotta fib to throw off the nosey significant other when trying to surprise them. So, as you can see, this wasn’t a case of where I held a promise over her head. She actually wasn’t expecting it to happen for another year. But there are some jokers out there who will do just the opposite. “Baby, I’m saving up for it…it’s coming.” “Of course I’m going to propose to you.” “Soon, real soon.” Even worse, some dudes actually propose to appease their girlfriends with no intention of marrying them. How can people take this promise so lightly? No wonder so many women are hurt by the false promise to propose.
It has absolutely little to do with the biological clock and everything to do with thinking enough of a person to take them at their word.
Taking someone at their word? Now there’s a novel concept. Sadly, doing so displays a vulnerability that, if trampled upon, is hard to display on future occasions.
Like Xerxes, before I proposed, I spent two years getting to know my future bride. I knew, “put(ting) a ring on it” was a big deal. It wasn’t just something I could throw around all matter of factly. I learned daily that she was pregnant with God’s purpose. Not only did she have purpose, that purpose began to line up with my own purpose. We continuously felt like Mary and Elizabeth when we began to discuss our future plans. Remember how John leaped in Elizabeth’s womb when Mary came around with Jesus in her womb. Our spiritual wombs began to leap because of our knitted purpose. That two year period helped me realize that Sheridan was my “star.” That right there…caused me to Put A Ring On It. In my eyes, this was something that was irrevocable. That rock on her finger symbolized a promise to marry her and cover her as her husband. That is a HUGE deal.
Some people feel like they have season passes to Six Flags/Disneyland when it comes to relationships. Relationships are nothing more than an emotional roller coaster, full of ups, downs, twists, and turns. Sometimes, on the ride they throw their hands up and enjoy. But those thirty foot drops loom. When there’s the a feeling in the pit of their stomach that just won’t go away. They get to the end of the ride, are asked to exit the vehicle and go look for the next thrill in relationship’s theme park. Are you tired of that feeling? Tired of spending precious times in your life dealing with the same tired issues? Begin by realizing that you are a star. God has placed you in a season of preparation. You sit in the real “King’s court” being prepared for one of His princes/princesses. This means developing your personal vision, your character, and your discernment. Be patient…and when your moment comes…make that joker put a ring on it.